In the Temple of the Internship we talk about when we deny self we automatically deny “other”.
A big fat motivator for people is NOT to do it for themselves, but someone else.
I have been really into co-dependency, independency and interdependency over the last couple of years and looking at my own attachment to my relationship with Mum. It was a fascinating journey and last week I started reading about secure attachment and man o man it is really intriguing.
Recognising my unobserved and hidden kink in the co-dependent nature of my relationship with Mum and seeing how being independent was really important to her, not needing a man and doing everything on her own was a big motivator. I adopted that same belief very early on in my life and it’s took me over a decade to iron out that kink and move into interdependent relationships.
For a long time we have put emphasis on the importance of being independent, but really there is a big shadow there that isn’t really spoken about-
• It can stifle love. • It stops the ability for us to give and receive. • It can stop us from opening up to love. • It slays vulnerability and connection. • It demonises the beauty of needing and giving.
Plus, as Damien Bohler said on the show- we can NEVER be independent because we will always need other people in some way, even if we’re alone and self-sufficient we are still reliant on the land.
When we recognize our own attachment and dance with dependency we can really begin to rewrite our relationship with it and move into interdependency.
This is where we know, respect and honour the importance of each other, our connection and our exchange, on whatever level that might be. We are able to self regulate, have awareness and have a secure attachment- an interconnected sacred way we relate to each other.
Being that when we deny self we automatically deny other this maybe the very thing that motivates you to bucking this trend!
This is bad boy was a pivot moment in my study with the Institute.
When I learned that my intuition is equal to my ability to the trust I have when I receive it and THAT is equal to the transform my clients have! Huge!
As one of the women said last night, when we don’t allow ourselves to receive we rob the other person of the amazing feeling of giving.
Just like every time we conform or try and fix someone we are robbing them of their own power.
We cannot to do this anymore.
So if doing it for yourself isn’t getting you over the line, then remember you are also robbing someone else of growth, evolution, joy and connection.