There are many entry points into kink and BDSM however, for those who are curious about beginning a sexual exploration in kink and BDSM we recommend you do it in a way that is aligned and feels good to you.
We view Kink and BDSM as sacred rituals and also a pleasure-filled experience. We always look at it and teach it through the lens of worship, honour, safety and benevolence.
As you embark on this journey know that can be beautiful, empowering and fun, however, you must enter it with full knowledge because it can jeopardise the safety and activate/ reactivate trauma.
Before you go straight to the Sensuality Shop and go nuts, there are things we recommend learning and understanding first. This will save you time, money and clumsy conversations.
SELF-INQUIRY- Journal the following…
What am I curious about?
What excites me?
Why am I doing this?
What scares me?
What do I want out of this?
What do I want to experience?
What boundaries do I need to honour my edges?
How does this look practically in my life?
What are some of my strengths and weaknesses? For example- I am really open and can communicate my needs, and I also tend to overgive and people-please to feel worthy.
2. COMMUNICATION- whether you are doing this on your own or with a partner communication will be needed at all times.
Get comfortable speaking clearly, honestly and openly about what you desire, how you feel and your boundaries.
We recommend doing the BDSM Test, the Erotic Blueprint and the Love Languages Quiz, also know your Attachment Style.
The more we know ourselves the more we can be self-aware and self-responsible when things come up for us.
Make a list of your hard no and yes’s and your soft no and soft yeses. This is great to find out what each Lover wants and doesn’t want, so you both know exactly what each other likes and dislikes along with coming to an agreement on what kind of play you do.
Hard No- is a hell no, there is no way we’re going there or doing that.
Hard Yes- is hell yeah, I am totally in.
Soft No- can be, it’s a no for now but let’s revisit when I am more comfortable and confident, or continue to check in and ask me.
Soft yes- can be, proceed with caution, watch out and listen to see if I’m still into it or yes, but not right now.
3. KNOW THYSELF- learn how to cultivate the energy of Eros within your body.
This might seem unnecessary for those who want to skip the sacred and just have fun, however, we strongly recommend this and is non-negotiable for our students.
During play, trauma can be activated and you don’t know when or what will surface and you need to know what to do.
Our minds and bodies can sometimes say different things and we need to be able to attune to both.
Although this is an exploration with “other” it’s important to remain sovereign and don’t outsource our power.
It amplifies the experience because you have an in-body and an out-of-body experience- which is a.mazing.
Whether we like it, see it or not we enter into an altered state of consciousness so trusting this process helps big time!
You can use it to heighten the experience that becomes epic growth and shapes who you are as a person.
The best way to do this is either to have the VIP experience or check out our services if you want to understand the journey and layers of our sexuality you can grab the free masterclass.
4. PREPARE- Once you have your kink profile, love language, attachment style, you’ve journaled and know what you want and don’t want you can start to think about what kind of play you want.
We always recommend going slowly and gently if neither Lover’s have really experienced any kink or BDSM.
Sensory Play can be a great start.
Bondage is great if you want to play with the pain and pleasure threshold.
Understanding the Dom and Sub dynamic is important because even if you’re a Kinkster who just wants to play there is someone who has be to be in charge at all times for safety reasons and all kink falls under the category of “giver and receiver.”
We do offer Kink Evaluations, once you have your kink profile we can record an audio for you and tell you exactly who you are, what it means, what to start with and where to go from here.
Now you can go shopping and have fun!