I thought it would get easier,
I thought I would have so much time,
I thought I would never be one of those Mum’s.
I thought so wrong.
The Mother archetype in me does not come naturally at all,
I am not one of those parents who love parenting… I find it quite tortuous.
Never wanting my kids to leave my side has never been a thing, I love being alone.
Being the pillar Soccer Mum who happily drops her kids off and watches all the games while yelling from the sidelines has never been on my dream list.
I’ve never wanted to get married,
I've never dreamed about “the big day”,
I didn’t start buying baby clothes before they were even on the cards,
In fact, I didn’t even try to have them. (But was not not trying either)
Ironically, I was the main presenter on a parenting TV show.
I hate “crafts”… like it makes me want to punch something.
Helping out in the classroom made me want to poke my eyes with a fork.
… and yet for 18 (not quite) years, I have been told that my girls are so lucky to have me,
How awesome of a parent I am…
I feel like I am so not normal when it comes to parenting, let me fill you in on a secret…
My sole intention as a Mother was this-
👉 To heal my shit and break the cycle.
👉 To model HEALTHY love.
👉 To love them for who they are not who I think they should be or was going to be.
I see my role as a parent more as a Guide, the truth is reversed engined how I parent, no joke.
I thought about what kind of conversations I wanted to have with my girls when they were 30… (30 has no symbolism, just a number I plucked out of my head)
About their life
What they were doing
How they were showing up
Their relationships
Their dreams
Sex
All of it.
I knew I wanted open communication, always.
I wanted them to be sexually liberated, open and anchored in respect
I wanted them to be emotionally intelligent
No never settle for average Love
I wanted them to embody humility and yet fully own who they are and reach for the stars
To not conform to the social norms and expectations of Women
For them to be connected to their soul self
For them to trust the intuition
To know that smart has many facets
For them to be independent
To be kind and not ignorant of privilege and to not squander it
For them to be alert and fearless
To not take life for granted
Not for a second.
So if I want them to be allllllll this what do I need to do for them to be this…
I need to model it, be it.
To have conversations EARLY and OFTEN.
To expose them to a variety of environments.
I am an open book, I don’t judge them, we are sex-positive, I teach them the origin of swear words and how most of them are pure in there and have been demonised by the colonial patriarchal religion and therefore have no power over us and there is NEVER shame in anything…
Emotions
Sex
Periods
Wellness
Meditation
Bodies
… nothing
No thing
No one
I don’t really give a shit about lunch boxes, what they wear or don’t wear, swear or don’t swear… All the rubbish that people stress about I usually couldn’t give a shit about.
However, things that turn me into a psychopath…
😏 Lying
😏 Entitlement
😏 Not speaking your truth
😏 Not believing in yourself
😏 Not believing you can
😏 Shrinking
😏 Waiting for someone else to do the thing
😏 Not respecting people’s time, boundaries, consent
I am FAR from imperfect and absolutely flawed, but I am a FRIGGING WOMAN FIRST.
I am committed to my Eros, anchoring myself in my Pleasure because it allows me to BE THIS for my girls… if I don’t… I can’t do any of it and the conversations I’ll have with them at 30 will be very different.
Our relationship with ourselves, how we show up in the world, how they watch us experience and feel Love and intimacy… they are soaking that shit up more than overstressing about what’s in a lunchbox and what they hear in the schoolyard.
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